Saugata Chakraborty

It is a truth universally ignored by publishers that when a debut book sells nearly two hundred copies in the first week (fifteen to fellow authors represented by the same dashing literary agent, five to benevolent friends not seeking income tax exemption under Section 80G and the rest to social media influencers paid to arrange bulk reviews for the book), the only logical step is to vanish into the fog like a Victorian butler wrongfully accused of larceny. Which is precisely what happened to the daring, if somewhat fragile, publisher of Mostly Mundane—the first chronicle of one Shantilal Biswas, the converted Mumbaikar caught eternally between two ill-timed misadventures.

One moment, they were all promises and press releases. The next, poof!—vanished. No updates on the author dashboard. No more phone calls. Zero royalty slips. Not even a customary regret note scented with stale coffee and passive aggression.

In my despair, I did what any emotionally frayed author would do. I summoned the hero of my own imagination. “Shantu-da,” I sobbed, “what now?”

To which he replied, while fumbling for his half-used inhaler and a copy of Tinkle, “Try this Kindle thing. I hear even disgraced spiritual gurus are self-publishing cookbooks these days. Why not you?”

Thus, dear reader, you behold on your device an uninspiring free template of a cover of Mostly Mental —a slim volume, leaner than a paratha on a government diet plan, compiled with neither a publishing house nor the blessed presence of a content editor. This little creature is a product of KDP: Kindled Desperation Publishing.

Now, I must pause here to offer a humble apology to the tribe of paperback purists. Those stout-hearted souls who frown upon anything under 200 pages and consider a book unreadable unless it doubles as a blunt weapon. You, dear sirs and madams, may feel short-changed. But I assure you—brevity, like Shantilal’s patience with WhatsApp forwards, is often a virtue.

So turn the page, brave reader. Step again into the curious, caffeine-stained world of our bureaucratic verandah, where hauntings come with leave applications and ghosts respect the RTI Act.

And if you’re still miffed about the missing pages, take heart. Shantilal promises the next one will have a plot, possibly a car chase, and if budget allows, an appendix.

Now go on. He’s waiting. And the ghost in the toilet isn’t getting any quieter.

P.S. Mostly Mental has whimsically been put on pre-order. The content would be available on May 15. One can order it only from a Browser on Amazon (In-app purchases of a Kindle only title is disallowed) from the following link:

Or, simply scan the QR Code below: