Saugata Chakraborty

(In a parallel universe, where ‘Almost Mundane’ was released in 2024)

(Scene: The familiar Gokuldham Society compound, Christmas lights twinkling. Residents are gathered for their annual festive get-together. A slightly tipsy Popatlal corners poor, unsuspecting Jethalal.)

Popatlal: (Slurring his words) Jethalal bhai, tell me… tell me the truth! This whole year… all these crazy incidents… was it all… real?

Jethalal: (Exasperated) Popatlal, what have you been drinking? Of course it was real! I almost got married twice, remember? Twice! Do you think I’d imagine that kind of trauma?

(A hush falls over the crowd as a figure emerges from the shadows. It’s Shantilal, looking unusually serious. He taps a microphone, causing feedback to screech through the speakers.)

Shantilal: My dear friends, neighbours, fellow sufferers… I have a confession.

(Everyone leans in, intrigued. Babita adjusts her saree with a dramatic flourish.)

Shantilal: For years, I’ve carried a burden… a secret that has weighed heavily on my soul. The truth is… (He pauses for dramatic effect) …I am not the mastermind behind the Almost Mundane series!

(Gasps ripple through the crowd. Iyer clutches his chest theatrically.)

Shantilal: The real author… the true genius behind our misadventures… is none other than… (He gestures towards a bewildered-looking Saugata, who’s trying to blend into the hibiscus bushes) …Saugata!

(Saugata, caught red-handed, sighs and steps forward.)

Saugata: (Muttering) Busted.

Shantilal: And that’s not all! Prepare yourselves for the most shocking revelation of the year… nay, the century! Almost Mundane is not… (He whispers) …real.

(A collective groan rises from the society members.)

Bhide: (Outraged) Not real? But what about my precious Sakharam? My scooter? My sleep? Was it all a lie?

Shantilal: I’m afraid so, Bhide bhai. Saugata here, this… this fiend, has been using Arjun’s ideas to write our stories! He feeds Arjun prompts, like “Jethalal gets trapped in a washing machine” or “Popatlal chases a runaway balloon,” and that unsuspecting boy spits out these outlandish tales!

(Popatlal stares at the sky, his mind clearly blown.)

Madhavi: (To Saugata) But why? Why would you do this?

Saugata: (Shrugging) I was tired of writing. Besides, Arjun has the ability to produce these brilliant twists. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

(The crowd erupts in chaos. Babita faints. Iyer fans her with his newspaper. Bhide threatens to sue Saugata for emotional distress. Tapu Sena, meanwhile, is busy trying to hack into ChatGPT4o to write themselves into the next “episode”.)

Jethalal: (Grabbing Saugata by the collar) You mean… I’ve been suffering for nothing? All this time, I could have been relaxing with a nice cup of chai instead of dealing with talking dogs, exploding pressure cookers, and… and… (He shudders) …Lady Gaga?

(Saugata, eyes wide with fear, gulps.)

Shantilal: (Grinning mischievously) Don’t worry, Jetha. I’m sure the next instalment has plenty more in store for us. After all, Almost Mundane must go on!

(He winks at the camera as the screen fades to black, leaving the residents of Gokuldham Society to grapple with the mind-blowing reality of their convoluted existence.)